Looking back at my previous relationships and my current has drawn me to conclude that friendship is the foundation of a happy and successful relationship.
When I met the man behind my writing of this article he emphasized on being friends and getting to know each other before actually being in an exclusive relationship. For some reason I thought he just taking me for a ride and withdrew my feelings. I did not want to be his friend but his lover.
I vowed I would not take part in the friendship ride. I would avoid him sometimes but he did not quit, we hung out more, fought, laughed, and opened up about our insecurities and flaws. We became good friends and eventually lovers. This taught me that being friends does more for long-term survival of a couple than anything else.
Friendship is something you can build a relationship on. Although your partner does not necessarily need to be your “best friend”, it still is critical that they are a close companion.
What does that mean? It means you should enjoy spending time with them, talking to them, have similar interests, laugh with each other, and support each other. You should enjoy each other’s presence. It can look different for every couple, but there should be something that you both can have fun doing together like friends do.
Having watched Bridgerton this will be my advice to anyone that wants to be in a happy relationship. The lead character’s mother Lady Violet offers her daughter advice on relationships and says:
“My dear, why ever do you complicate matters so? You must simply marry the man who feels like your dearest friend.”
The relationship advice and support provided by Lady Violet was a significant contributor to Daphne’s decision to marry Simon, the Duke of Hastings.
The Duke explains that at first, love was out of the question, but in removing it, they found friendship, which is far greater. He put it simply:
“To meet a beautiful woman is one thing, but to meet your best friend in the most beautiful of women is something entirely apart.”
This was said when the couple had to make a plea to the Queen to marry early.
The Queen asks if they were in love. Daphne Bridgerton insists that it was love at first sight. But Simon interjects to remind her and the Queen that while there was indeed an attraction, romance was initially out of the question.
“Her laughter brings me joy.”
He pleas for the Queen to allow them to marry because he cannot stand the thought of not spending time with his best friend. The Queen is impressed. She tells Simon,
“You are wise, or perhaps unusually lucky to understand friendship to be the best possible foundation a marriage can have.”
Later in the series the trust between the couple seems to have been broken beyond after Daphne discovered Simon had been lying to her about his inability to have children. But a foundation of friendship remained. And it was this foundation that helped them overcome their issues.
It can be easy to get caught up with relationship conflict and points of tension however it is important to remember that they are not just your partner, but also your friend. So support each other, love each other, and be there for each other just like friends do.