When you keep your relationship private, it doesn’t mean that you never talk about it or share what’s going on in your love life. It doesn’t mean that you have to bottle anything in either.
Keeping your relationship private should never feel like you are depriving yourself of part of the joy of being in a relationship. You should, however, make sure that your definition of relational joy is more about your relationship and less about pleasing other people.
People used to protect their relationship from the influence and opinions of the outside world. Times have changed.
While social media is rapidly transforming into the primary communication source for this generation, the idea that what goes on inside of your home stays inside of your home is one rule that should still reign true, especially as it pertains to your love life.
You don’t have to keep your relationship secret, but here’s why it’s important to maintain some privacy.
1) You open yourself up to the opinions of others.
How quickly we forget the lessons learned in childhood. Chances are if you grew up with African American parents, you were told to keep family business out of the streets. Our parents and grandparents knew the consequences of speaking too loosely about family affairs. By discussing your issues with outsiders, you open yourself up to the opinions of others.
2) Everyone won’t be happy for you.
Want to know who is truly happy for you? Fall in love. The unfortunate truth is that not everyone is going to rejoice at the sight of your union. While there should be minimal concern about other people’s opinions, it’s important to be mindful that miserable people don’t enjoy their own company. There are some people so distraught with their own lives they will go out of their way to ruin yours.
Your delight may breed haters who will drag confusion everywhere they go. Sometimes it’s best to be out of sight and out of mind. The less people know about your personal life, the less they have to speak on.
3) It opens up the chance for your ex to be in your business.
The only thing worse than strangers being in your business is having your ex-boyfriend/girlfriend watching your every move on social media. Hell bent and determined to poke holes in your new love affair, disclosing too much about your new relationship can leave you vulnerable to the antics of a scorned ex.
5) Breaking up is easier.
Your relationship was great. You and your partner shared some amazing times and the world felt like they were on the journey with you. You gave followers access to your relationship, forgetting that at the end of the day, it’s just you and your partner fighting to make your union work.
Relationships end; that’s the nature of love. But ending a relationship that was so heavily adored on social media makes it much more difficult to pick up the pieces and open a new chapter. Sharing your relationship with the world comes with consequence.
Keeping your relationship private shelters you from the added drama. You can simply decide to be done with your relationship, with no questioning, no obligation, and no stress.
6) You put too much pressure on your relationship.
You don’t give people permission to idolize your relationship, but they do. Sharing every moment of your private life can put you in a position to be the prototype of real love. Suddenly, people convince themselves that they want what you have based solely on what they see online. This can be a lot of pressure on both people in the relationship. Now living to exceed the expectations of spectators, it’s easy to lose sight of what is really important, building an unbreakable bond with your partner.
7) Shuts out bad advice
By keeping the essence of your relationship out of circulation, you actually leave no room for people to pass judgement and give unsolicited advice on how things should be between you and your partner.
8) It Removes Comparison
The biggest benefit of keeping your relationship off social media? Getting rid of that nagging sense of comparison. Although largely unconscious, a constant comparison works against our own mental health and the health of our relationships.
Without realizing it, you may see what other couples are doing and wish that your relationship was the same.
Keeping your relationship private will create a genuine connection with your partner that most people have to use social media to portray.