Why I May Never Be a Second Wife…

Dear beautiful woman, be a beauty with brains. So you have been intimate with a married man, and he is promising to make you his second wife. The title of wife makes you think you are serious and special to him.

Funny as it may sound, the idea of being a second wife has crossed my mind once but it has never gone beyond the thought.

First things first, I’m afraid of getting married, too much strength, energy and patience needs to be invested. Well that’s what I have heard mostly, I guess with the right partner it’s a different story altogether.

Back to why I am writing this article. An opportunity may have come for me to be a second wife (do not ask too much about this), I sat down and came to the conclusion that I could never do it. Why would I openly settle for being second best? I am jealous and selfish with the people I love. I want them all to myself and cannot imagine sharing a husband.


  • You may be the second wife, but the legitimate wife will always be the one .You will never be one with him because you are not his only one.
  • You are entering it through the door of unfaithfulness. When he was pursuing you it was an affair, he is married.
  • A husband and wife cannot be one if another woman comes into the picture. You are distracting him from being a good husband and father, you are intruding.
  • When the husband and legitimate wife got married, they vowed to faithfulness, love and exclusivity. Why are you as an outsider coming to help him break that vow?
  • Most often the man asking you to be his second wife does so because he sees women as a weaker gender, sees women as a trophy in his cabinet, wants to legitimize and justify his affair, and is seeking for ways he can keep having sex with you yet still keep his legitimate marriage; or he does so just because you got an unplanned pregnancy.
  • If you accept to be his second wife, what is stopping him from getting a number three, four and five? You are not that special.
  • You should be top priority, number one, why accept to be second best?
  • No woman who is the legitimate wife will be OK with sharing her husband. It is not what she vowed to in marriage. How would you feel if you were the legitimate wife and another woman comes to divide your marriage? Don’t do that to a fellow woman.
  • The reason why so many men get away with affairs and breaking their home is because out there are women willing to be used by the man in doing so. Don’t let him use you.
  • How would you feel being introduced as the second wife? The world knowing you are the woman who came to spoil another woman’s marriage?
  • How will you live with yourself as a woman when you face and witness the pain, anger and shame you have brought on the legitimate wife?
  • Why subject yourself to a life where your child/children have a dad who is constantly absent? You explaining to your child/children daddy had to go be with another family?
  • Look at funerals, the lives and families of men with multiple women suffer. The kids suffer most. The child/children of the legitimate wife will despise you and your child/children. Your child/children will struggle to fit in the man’s schedule. Why put yourself and your child/children through all these? Because of selfishness? It always ends ugly.
  • Why commit your entire future to a man who is OK and casual about breaking the commitment he made to his legitimate wife? He can’t be trusted.


  • You may be the second wife, but the legitimate wife will always be the one who taught him love, the one who made him the man you now want. Don’t be an opportunist. Find your own man and make him great.

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  • Cranberries live on
    June 22, 2020 1:55 pm

    ….and Make him great

    • faithpanashe
      July 3, 2020 10:34 am

      Make who great? lol

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