Asking for help is so hard for many people but has been found to be common in introverts. Obviously, when I read about it I was nodding my head the entire time cause I am an introvert. I sat down and tried to figure out why it is that I prefer to suffer and make it work all on my own, which again life doesn’t allow. Why it is that opening my mouth or typing it out would have me sweating and cussing at myself, and this is what I found.
FEAR OF REJECTION – this is a fear that comes into play with a lot of things in life but it definitely stands when it comes to asking for help. We hate the idea of putting ourselves out there and then getting a, ‘I am sorry I can’t.’ Whilst the persons should be appreciated it stings and that is what we hate. Receiving a NO, but life doesn’t always serve a yes. You lose nothing, just try anyway.
MAKES ONE FEEL WEAK – ever asked for help and been told to, ‘get over it, ‘ or ‘toughen up.’ So now the seed has been planted in you that failure to figure things out on your own equals to you being weak. Guess who is dodging looking weak for the rest of their life? Firstly, I wish people would stop saying such things, it’s impolite especially if it’s being said to someone at their worst. Secondly, asking for help is not help, it’s wise because sometimes you can’t do things on your own.
FEAR OF JUDGEMENT – I have to confess that I have voices in my head that say all the things that people will say behind my back after I ask for help. I hate that they exist but I am here to say I understand this fear. Opening is already a struggle and the idea of telling someone your whole situation then them judging you for it is….. Yeah, a lot! There is no telling what a person will do with the information you give them, but how else will we know who is real and who isn’t?
YOU HATE THE DEPENDENCY SYNDROME – you have had someone ask for help and they turned out to be super dependent on you. You don’t want to be that person and start to think if you do ask for help you will turn into this person. I mean, you do know how not to be that person right? So don’t…
FEAR OF LOSING CONTROL – we love being in control of our lives, every aspect of them and asking for help feels like you are handing the power over. This is not the case, think of it this way. You are sharing the power, not so bad right? Try it!
RECIPROCITY – if they do this for me what will they want in return? Nothing is for free in this world we live in and that’s a fact so valid fear. So how about, making sure the terms and conditions are clear? Just be careful how you word that because it may come off very rude.