How I lost Number Three to Dynamos, DeMbare

On the blog today is a guest who refers to himself as an ordinary ‘young man’. After reading several of my articles that represent and express what women go through and feel, Leopold Munhende offered to enlighten us on one of the struggles men go through that’s choosing  between being with your loved one and the big football game. 
A lot of us get ticked off when he chooses being with the boys than spending time with you. They are so strict with the Bro Code ‘Bros Before Hoes’  meaning friends before women. Here is a good read on how his love for football cost him two relationships.


I haven’t dated too many girls. Just a few. I started dating late in life. I was too bookish, too much FIFA too!
I have however grown to be too particular about who I spend my time with as my ‘Better-Half.’ I now require an Ordinary Level qualification, I worry a lot about how my kids will turn out to be if I impregnate these unO’leveled chicks.
I am diarising how I got to this stage by chronicling my past breakups and how they have had an impact on my definition of a ‘true girlfriend.’
Chingoverengawo!
How I lost Number Three to Dynamos, DeMbare
I have lost two girlfriends to football giants Dynamos so far. Not that they fell in love with the club no, although I wouldn’t blame them.
My love for football has cost me two relationships so far.
The first was a beautiful black chick from Bulawayo I had finally noticed after a loooong time although she was always by my side. We worked together. Beautiful, natural, black creature, magnificent on the eye with sparkling white teeth, a wide, heartwarming smile and this unique fresh scent. No matter what time you met her she was just fresh.
I swear I thought I was marrying that one. Shame.
We dated for a relatively long time (we are in the 21st century, you define your long) and all along she knew I loved my football.
She had accepted that fact but for some reason I think she engineered our break up. You know how it is, someone pretends like things are no longer ok blah blah and decides it’s not working and I was like it’s ok.
I hadn’t moved to Harare which meant I was resigned to watching DeMbare play just about three times per season. That “fateful” weekend Dynamos was facing Highlanders. I wouldn’t have missed it for your funeral yes you lol.
Chick calls early Sunday, “Baby may we meet in town today,” she says in her soft, sensual voice which gets me all attentive and calm.
I tell her Dynamos is playing and I can only meet her in the morning or Monday since we are on holiday.
Automatically, as if a switch has been flipped the issue changes to me choosing soccer over her. Problem number one with girls! Comparing themselves.
After a 20 minute call chronicling my history of choosing DeMbare over her, I am battered into submission. We are meeting at 12 midday.
12 midday chick is nowhere to be found, eventually we meet at 1pm apa had told ma niggers to pick me up at 1.15pm pa Bulawayo Centre.
At 1.15pm sure enough Wisdom’s BMW 320i hoots from across the street, “Handeyi Cde tanonoka,” bellows my ‘larger’ friend, Evans.
It’s been 15 minutes with Baby, hell we haven’t even asked each other nezvana “Gulez, Tsano, etc” you know the drill. But Dynamos is playing and I can book another appointment with Bae for tomorrow anyway anditi?
So I kiss her on the mouth, say goodbye and am literally dragged into the car, its a big match! We all wave, she doesn’t wave back. I should have known.
It’s not three points on both ends for me in the end. By the time Kallisto Pasuwa’s all conquering squad is confirmed eventual winners at 5pm, I am single.
I am welcomed back on WhatsApp by the longest message I have ever seen in my life. She is gone, fact.
Three down!

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2 Comments

  • TheLeoNation
    August 9, 2019 9:22 am

    Quite common though. We’ve all lost 2 or 3 to the most beautiful game. How ironic, the English Premier league starts tonight 9/8…?

    • Faith Panashe Zvorufura
      August 9, 2019 10:23 am

      I’m sure you have mastered the art now

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