Before this heartbreak I last felt my heart shatter in 2017. It’s a feeling I vowed never to feel again. It’s painful, its sore, it hurts. You even stop thinking for a moment.
So last week Saturday I got into town to get my hair done and grocery runs. I have no car so that meant lots of walking and it was hot af.
After a long day and month of hard work I decided to award myself with a bottle of gin. I carefully packed it in the grocery bag, making sure it was sitting okay right in the corner. The bag was full but I tried to make sure the bottle was fine. At that time that’s all that mattered in the bag.
As I was walking home, again that’s all I was thinking of, I Imagined myself sitting on my bed with a glass of pink gin and ice. What more could one ask for honestly.
Before I left town, someone warned me about my bag. It was too full and they did mention that it would break. I just wanted to get home and unpacking the groceries was the last thing I wanted to, I mean the bottle was sitting fine.
Another thing, I did not want to share my bottle with anyone but my boyfriend. I dropped off with a friend that offered to help with the bag but I refused. I didn’t want her to see it because she would have slept over that night making sure we reached the bottom of the bottle.
So I told her I was fine and needed no help. She insisted, carried it for a while then she heard the bottle sounds. That distinct sound that comes from a bottle of alcohol. She asked and I blatantly denied there was alcohol in the bag, instead it was a tin of baked beans.
She asked me thrice and before I could deny it for the third time, the bag broke. Hearing the bottle break into pieces felt like someone piercing through my heart. I kept holding the bag together hoping the bottle would stop breaking but it was too late…
The alcohol was all on the road leaking through the bag, I opened it hoping it had broken in half and a little bit was in the bottom half. But no, the bottom part was in pieces, you know what that meant? It was all gone, finished. US$10 down the drain.
Do you have any idea of how much money is hard to come by? Let alone the luxury to buy alcohol and for me to just drop and break it.
I over packed the grocery bag but couldn’t something else break? Why the alcohol? The rest of the walk home was so long. I didn’t want to talk about what had happened, the embarrassment.
Dear friend read the vibe and chose not to ask about it. I acted like I didn’t care but when I got home, I was literally shaking. All my life, never had I dropped alcohol even a glass.
My heart was sore, I was numb and in disbelief that I, Faith broke a bottle of gin.
Moral of the story: Always share and do not lie. Had I been honest that I wanted to have the precious waters with boyfriend probably it would have gotten home safe.
Secondly always listen to people when they advise you. Had I listened and unpacked my groceries I probably wouldn’t be writing this today.
For the record, my heart is still sore.