Understanding Compatibility in Relationships

A key element in every relationship is compatibility between the couple. Beginning from the dating process and then following in marriage issues of compatibility can make or break relationships.

Basically, being in a compatible relationship means that you work well together, enjoy each other’s company and have a good time.

It might feel a lot like love when the person you’re dating is funny, smart, and likes Ella Mai as much as you do, but true compatibility means so much more than liking their traits (and who doesn’t like Ella Mai!?).

Do you feel like you can be yourself with your partner? Are you able to openly communicate, or do you hold some things back to spare their feelings or avoid a fight? Would you judge, ridicule, or look down on your partner for anything they’d say or do?

According to Meaningful Life there are four types of compatibility.

Physical Compatibility

Though it may sound superficial, physical compatibility physical attraction to one another is necessary for a relationship to take hold and be maintained. You need to be attracted to your partner, and certainly not be repulsed. Beauty is in the eyes of the beholder, and physical compatibility is clearly based on a subjective set of preferences. Nevertheless it is an important component in a relationship.

Emotional Compatibility

You can be attracted to someone physically, but if emotionally there is no connection, the relationship cannot endure. This happens very often: People look beautiful on paper or in real life, but when you meet and talk to them, you don’t feel anything there is no “click”. Every healthy relationship needs a feeling of trust and commonality, as well as emotional nurturing.

Intellectual Compatibility

Intellectual compatibility is two people who respect each other’s intelligence. They share and are stimulated by each other’s ideas and/or shared intellectual interests.  They value each other’s opinion and thoughts. They find each other’s conversation interesting.

Eternal Compatibility: The Shared Vision

Not to diminish the importance of the first three types of compatibility, there is a fourth element of compatibility which infuses and lifts a relationship to another dimension and actually turns it into an eternal relationship.

It is called spiritual compatibility: Two people who share a vision and a mission a vision that transcends each of their needs and the day to day changes of everyday life.

They ask themselves: what transcendent vision do we share in how we would like to contribute to the greater good? What mark in the world do we want to make? What kind of home do we want build together? How do we want to raise our children, and how do we want them to shape the world they will grow up in? When people come into your environment, what kind of feeling do you want to give them? What legacy are you leaving?

Compatibility in a relationship means that both partners understand and accept each other’s life philosophy and goals, as well as genuinely enjoy being around each other without feeling preoccupied by what they feel needs to change within their partner.

In a compatible relationship, both partners can be very different personality wise, but will tend to agree on several core factors that dictate how they both want to build their lives together. In a compatible, healthy relationship, both partners will strive to meet each other’s relational needs.

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